The Little Kid in All of Us

I cried at the end of my two year old's music class. We were singing the 'goodbye' song and I felt a little boy give me a hug. The song instructs kids to hug their mommy's so I assumed it was my son, but when I saw my Caspian standing next to me I realized it was a sweet boy I had only seen a few times. I was flattered he was inclined to share his warm embrace with me and when he proceeded to hug all the other children and parents in the class, one by one, I was moved to tears. His mother saw me crying and gave me the loveliest smile and thanked me for being brought to emotions by her son's actions.

Later that day as I explained the incident to my husband, I got choked up again. I wasn't sure what was making me so emotional, but after some soul digging I realized I've been so disturbed by all the ugly in the world that this was a refreshing reminder of who we all were before we learned how to hate people of different backgrounds and religions, before we became predators, before we were able to buy a gun and shoot innocent souls. At one point, we were all happy little toddlers graciously giving away hugs to complete strangers. No walls, no hate, no shame.

We are all born good. We are all born kind. All the judgment and hate towards one another is learned. If we made the effort to tap back into that innocent toddler within each of us, perhaps we could also go back to being brave enough to spread our love openly and freely to one another. And maybe this simple action could be a step towards dissipating the hate and spreading the humanity.


Sincerely,
Sahra

Second Time Sweetness

I was convinced the enjoyment of a second baby could be nothing close to the first. When I was pregnant with Shiraz, my second, I would talk to my mom about how it's impossible she doesn't like Hooman, the eldest of our siblings, a liiiiittle more than my sister and me. There's just no way. I mean, what could possibly compete with the first baby? First smile, first breastfeed, first word, first laugh... everything is so exciting and special. And you don't miss a beat because there is no distraction from another child in the home.

Shiraz is now three months old and let me tell you there is a sweetness the second time around like you wouldn't believe. I was actually surprised nobody told me this. So I'm going to tell you:

There is a different sweetness with the second baby, and here's how:

1 - You know what you are doing.
You know what you should pay attention to and what you should brush off. And when you have this attitude, it makes it that much more enjoyable. Just a little diaper rash... just a little eczema... just a little gas... No big deal.

2 - You savor the moments.
I promise you will not remember how many cuddles you got during the newborn phase until you are back in it again. My toddler, Caspian, is almost two and I am thankful if I get a hug once a week. When you are holding your second and she wants nothing more than to be held for longer, you will swallow up all those moments.

3 - The lack of sleep does not bother you as much.
We all hate not sleeping, especially post labor when all you want to do is rest. But this too is something you now know is only temporary. Your baby will eventually sleep through the night and so will you. And would you believe me if I told you this time the middle of the night feeds are actually my favorite!? The sweetness that comes with both of you being exhausted and falling asleep on each other is so delicious... and also short-lived.

4 - Leaving the house with a newborn is much easier this time.
You would think the opposite since I now have a toddler too. Not the case. With Caspian, the diaper bag was always perfectly packed before leaving the house. This time, the diaper bag hasn't left the closet. I use normal bags and often just throw an extra couple diapers in my purse; and for most everything else, I can get creative. Did you know a nursing blanket can also be used as a changing pad, swaddle, and a blankey? Sounds unsanitary but I am a diaper changing hero these days. Forgot wipes? You can always find a bathroom and wet paper towels. Not ideal, but I will survive it. Already driving and forgot the stroller? Big deal, I will carry her.

We always figure it out.


5 - You are not as concerned for others when breast feeding.
I am respectful as I can be, but if you accidentally get flashed... get over it, my baby's hungry. This feeling is very liberating :)

6 - Siblings.
Seeing Caspian and Shiraz together is one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I can't imagine a better gift a mother and father can give their children than siblings. Shiraz turns her head towards Caspian and often smiles when she hears his voice. And Caspian runs to find Shiraz as soon as he wakes up from sleep and every time he arrives home. He pets her when she is sleeping, he yells and runs to find us when she cries, he lays down and puts his arm around her during tummy time, he makes his voice high when he talks to her just as we do... they already love each other so much and witnessing their bond grow every day adds to the sweetness tenfold. My heart is warmed by this magic every day.


Sincerely,
Sahra

Driving Miss Sahra

I drive like a grandma. Friends and family members have been telling me this since I was 16. Not like the elderly who shouldn't be permitted a license, but the ones that drive with caution and don't speed or attempt any swift moves. I guess a mom with children in the car would be a more accurate comparison? Either way, I've never taken offense to this comment.

With absurd statistics that prove driving is a life or death activity, how do more people not drive like grandmas? Every time we sit behind the wheel, we are accepting a huge responsibility and driving should be treated as such. Whenever I drive fast or allow myself to get frustrated on the road, I ask myself "is it worth increasing my chances of an accident to get where I'm going?" The answer is always no. Try asking yourself the same question and you will see.

Since leaving NYC in 2013 and driving Los Angeles roads, there are a handful of "moves" I see repeatedly and don't think people are aware of how stupidly dangerous they are. My husband jokes I should apply for a position with the California Highway Patrol as I would exceed their monthly quota my first week on the job. Here are a few examples of pull over worthy infractions: 

1 - Texting at a stoplight.

People claim this somehow is not risky since the car is not moving. False. Texting disorients you from the action on the road. For example, if your head is down at the stoplight you could see the glare of a green light and assume it's your green and start to accelerate through the intersection when the glare is actually from the green left arrow in the lane next to you. I promise you any text message can wait until you arrive to your destination. And if you're using your phone for directions, pull over. 

2 - Left hand turn victims.

The person driving through the light is just as responsible as the person making the left hand turn. Do not speed up to make a yellow light when there is someone waiting to turn left. As I'm sure you've experienced, when you are the left turner you read the speed of the car driving towards you and make that left when the light is yellow based on the speed of the approaching car. So picking up your speed as the left hand "turnee" is plain dumb. My theory is, if you can gracefully come to a stop without slamming your breaks, you should stop. But if you have to slam on your breaks to stop, it's alright to drive through that yellow. This is assuming you aren't speeding and the green changed to yellow just as you approached the intersection, of course.

3 - Use your signal.

Not using your signal does not create the same kind of danger as the above, however communicating your next move with surrounding cars is proper driving etiquette. If you choose not to use your signal, you are assuming the entire road revolves around you and your time is more precious than others. If we knew you were making that right turn, we could have changed lanes earlier and gone around you. If we knew you were making a left out of that small side street when we assumed right, we could have squeezed passed you and made our right without wasting time waiting behind you. And changing lanes without using your signal on a congested road is the most self-centered, entitled move of all. What if no one used their signals? Then you couldn't drive like you. The only way those swift, tight lane changes work is when everyone else is using their blinkers. How narcissistic. If I made those same presumptions, we would crash. 

Make sense? Stop being an a-hole.

Sincerely,

Sahra