I was convinced the enjoyment of a second baby could be nothing close to the first. When I was pregnant with Shiraz, my second, I would talk to my mom about how it's impossible she doesn't like Hooman, the eldest of our siblings, a liiiiittle more than my sister and me. There's just no way. I mean, what could possibly compete with the first baby? First smile, first breastfeed, first word, first laugh... everything is so exciting and special. And you don't miss a beat because there is no distraction from another child in the home.
Shiraz is now three months old and let me tell you there is a sweetness the second time around like you wouldn't believe. I was actually surprised nobody told me this. So I'm going to tell you:
There is a different sweetness with the second baby, and here's how:
1 - You know what you are doing.
You know what you should pay attention to and what you should brush off. And when you have this attitude, it makes it that much more enjoyable. Just a little diaper rash... just a little eczema... just a little gas... No big deal.
2 - You savor the moments.
I promise you will not remember how many cuddles you got during the newborn phase until you are back in it again. My toddler, Caspian, is almost two and I am thankful if I get a hug once a week. When you are holding your second and she wants nothing more than to be held for longer, you will swallow up all those moments.
3 - The lack of sleep does not bother you as much.
We all hate not sleeping, especially post labor when all you want to do is rest. But this too is something you now know is only temporary. Your baby will eventually sleep through the night and so will you. And would you believe me if I told you this time the middle of the night feeds are actually my favorite!? The sweetness that comes with both of you being exhausted and falling asleep on each other is so delicious... and also short-lived.
4 - Leaving the house with a newborn is much easier this time.
You would think the opposite since I now have a toddler too. Not the case. With Caspian, the diaper bag was always perfectly packed before leaving the house. This time, the diaper bag hasn't left the closet. I use normal bags and often just throw an extra couple diapers in my purse; and for most everything else, I can get creative. Did you know a nursing blanket can also be used as a changing pad, swaddle, and a blankey? Sounds unsanitary but I am a diaper changing hero these days. Forgot wipes? You can always find a bathroom and wet paper towels. Not ideal, but I will survive it. Already driving and forgot the stroller? Big deal, I will carry her.
We always figure it out.
5 - You are not as concerned for others when breast feeding.
I am respectful as I can be, but if you accidentally get flashed... get over it, my baby's hungry. This feeling is very liberating :)
6 - Siblings.
Seeing Caspian and Shiraz together is one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I can't imagine a better gift a mother and father can give their children than siblings. Shiraz turns her head towards Caspian and often smiles when she hears his voice. And Caspian runs to find Shiraz as soon as he wakes up from sleep and every time he arrives home. He pets her when she is sleeping, he yells and runs to find us when she cries, he lays down and puts his arm around her during tummy time, he makes his voice high when he talks to her just as we do... they already love each other so much and witnessing their bond grow every day adds to the sweetness tenfold. My heart is warmed by this magic every day.
Sincerely,
Sahra
