"The world will be saved by the western woman."
This quote by the Dalai Lama rings more true to me everyday. Perhaps it's because I am creeping into my mid-30s, surrounded by women in the like age range. I see it all around me: women holding down careers, treating themselves to fancy dinners and lavish vacations, women running the household, handling the children, and being the emotional rock for their husbands. And with all this madness and responsiblilty… they're suddenly pregnant again.
The innate characteristics women possess that keeps them ahead (of men):
- Strong multi-taskers
- Ability to empathize
- Maternal instincts
- Intuition / a women's sixth sense
- Detail oriented
- Team players by nature.
The two characteristics women possess that is working against us:
- Jealousy
- Biological clock.
If the majority of women find a way (and they will) to stop competing with one another and start supporting each other, this will put women light years ahead of men. No more 'boyfriend girls.' This is a name I coined years ago to describe those women that are your friend until they find their next boyfriend. Then POOF they disappear. They ditch all their friends, make the new boyfriend's friends their own… and then the moment her and that dude break up, the 'boyfriend girls' reappear to be friends again. Or they go on a quest to make new temporary friends. I don't think women realize how much this weakens our gender. It cheapens us and our ability to stay bonded. Friends are not meant to be provisional. (Real) friendships are supposed to be your foundation, your gang, your team of people that stand behind you encouraging you to be the best you can be. Yes, there are friends that come in and out for a season or a reason (not a lifetime), but we should all at least aspire for genuine, committed dedication in our friendships.
The biological clock is tricky because I do believe that a women's ability to bear children predominantly puts us ahead of men -- the pregnancy and nursing bond with the child, the strength endured through pregnancy and labor, the God-given instincts as a mother. However, this is the clock I am referring to. Our ticking clocks is physiological fact. I'd say most would agree that things start to fall into place around our 30s: career, relationships, what you want out of life. Everything finally starts to make sense and we want to continue to build on that path. Then gassssp! our parents start pointing out the importance of prioritizing having babies NOW. It's scary. It sucks. And it disrupts our stride.
Trust me, I know. My dad and brother (both OB/GYNs) made it very clear to me when I was a few months into graduate school at NYU, living the dream. On the day I turned 26 they said to me: "Happy Birthday, Sahra! From this day forward your egg count will be decreasing every day!"
Thanks, guys. Let's celebrate.
Sincerely,
Sahra
